Thursday, April 21, 2016

Another One Bites the Dust .... Or At Least I do.

I find myself with more time once again.  As usual I take this time to reflect. I think am I happy with what I've done, who I've become, do I really want to take this path? Now, I ask myself the harder question, what can I do to remedy my situation? Is the grass truly greener? or do I just hope it is?

I know.... Questions! Right?!

Dude, you don't even know the half of it.

And once again I've lost my coffee, hold on....

Okay,  so coffee in hand let's do this.  Am I happy? Honestly, sometimes I am. I don't want to be a Stepford Wife, but something's gotta give........    <Ha two movie titles and wasn't even trying>

I've done things I am ashamed of, but I'd like to think it made me who I am, it taught me not to repeat that mistake....

I've also done things I am very proud of. I'd like to think I am a hard worker. Sure I have days were I slack and am moody, but who doesn't; However, for the most part I am driven and detail orientated and I know it rubs people the wrong way and that is never my intent.

Here's the question, do I give in? do I break? or do I shut everyone out and push past it...
I'm going to push myself. Even if that mean isolating myself from people, so be it. I worked hard to accomplish what I've done and I'm not giving in.

As for the grass being greener on the other side. I would love to find out more than you know.  I've watched that grass grow and become stronger, sure they've weathered the storm, but you're still there and you deserve better. I am like a weed that would destroy your roots and I couldn't forgive myself for that.

As Benjamin Burnley sings I just want to "look for the light that leads me home."