Books, Kids, and Lots of Coffee

Thursday, February 4, 2016

When one door closes, another opens...

9 days! In 9 days it is my birthday. It's a huge milestone for me. Have I lived the life I wanted? No. That's my fault and I accept that. I accepted the fact that December was a horrible month for me. I look back and I'm sure it's a combination of medications, health concerns, and the thought of my fast approaching milestone.  I'm not trying to make excuses or re-open wounds. I've made my bed, so I must lye in it. There are so many events and memories I wish I could re-live, not all are good. I've tried to sleep, but I'm an Aquarius and supposedly, that's why I over think and over analysis. As well as assume there is a hidden agenda. I hate mind games and I live in the moment. Yes, I can be impulsive and annoying. I accept that. But sometimes a little impulsiveness is good. Yes, I generally regret the things caused by my lack of thought.  There was just so much I wanted to accomplish and feel that it will never happen. I'm not ready. I wish I could stop time. I wish I could change time.